CRAZEE dreams last night….not sure i remember all of it or if i want to remember all of it. part of it i remember being in college, somewhere i had no idea where i was at, there were tons of girls from sororities all around, which me and my friends have always referred to as “sorority bizzes” because of their silly attitudes. so anyway, i was the outsider in a school full of people i didn’t know, places i didn’t belong. i remember walking around and stuff, and like ever door i went in, i’d end up walking through a classroom, always the wrong classroom though. perhaps i was taking the “wrong path?” then some chick was telling me i couldn’t do this or that, like trying to help me with some of the stipulations, then i realized i had lost my backpack, so she came with me to help me find it. she was cute, nothing special, simply cute…i asked her to sit with me for 5 minutes to talk, since i had no friends. i don’t even know if we talked about anything, that’s about all i remember of that part. later i somehow ended up in toys r us, and fucking she-hag’s mother showed up, something was wrong or had happened but i’m not sure what it was. i just remember her calling she-hag on the phone and saying something, and then she wanted me to confirm it by talking to her on the phone, and i simply said “no, i don’t want to talk to her, i don’t need to talk to her, i have NOTHING to say to her.” even in my dream, i was able to turn my back on that which left me no happiness. so i ended up outside, and she-hag’s mother came outside crying or something, she tried to talk to me about it, i simply said “goodbye” and hugged her. she cried about how horrible her life had become, and how i was such a great person compared to the COck she was dating now….perhaps my inner self trying to boost my ego, but i knew that much already. then there was some bit about being at a barbecue or something at my dad’s work, unsure of the details, just remember it wasn’t actually his work. it had a lot of fences and metal buildings and such, and i met some “big boss” guy that was friendly and smiley about everything. -end dreams

talked quite a bit to lil j on the phone last night, we had an interesting discussion of what makes a girl “cute” and what makes a girl “hot.” the whole cute vs hot conflict is a pretty difficult one to make sense of, but i think we came to a conclusion about it. when i can organize it into words i’ll post a diatribe about it or something. i finished watching Vanilla Sky last night, it was a really good movie, actually. i mean, the idea has kinda been used before, but it was a creepily convincing scenario of mental capacity and human potential. -Flitzanu

i had said before, it became difficult to try to be Vulcan again….to be shut off and distant….and the event that kept me from it was one simple hug. i don’t think i’ve felt so much true humanesque emotion in one single act. my chest swirled with the intake of so much energy and i was left a bit dizzy and speechless….thank you. this act doesn’t change anything, it proves nothing, and it also says something. i can at least rest assured that my previous selfish, childish assumptions were all stupid and ridiculous. nothing has changed, nothing is meant to change.-Daniel

Pursue your happiness, you know where my loyalty and compassion lies, dear Knives, I’ll be waiting. -Legato