First you wanted to come, and now you only want to be gone.

So, coming up on the one year anniversary of potentially being fucking killed in a car wreck. I’m the 20% that lived. Value your moments.

Nothing to really say.  I feel everything finally closing off again.  So many failed experiments of trying to behave humanly and be emotionally connected to people who make me feel alive, and it always leads to disappointment. It could be my blame, as my choices are the most complicated, but nothing easy seems worth having.  […]

An anniversary of destruction. So much hatred from lips, and so much that could never be fixed. A fitting end, perhaps?  Such destruction created the monster that I now am, so perhaps it was for the best,  this monster is much more self-aware than it’s predecessor. Red fire burns, it always has.  I’m the only […]

And without fail, as blankness fills and newest memories have begun fading, I’m left to dream of not one, not two, but THREE damning ex loves from my past.  All three were displaced and erratic, but the intent and hesitance still there.  Small aspects of their darkness still mocked me, guised in new traces of […]

Less thoughts each day.  Saddening or maddening. At least others have offered new distraction.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life.  Thankfully I feel I’ve been able to atone for them, or at least to offer my apologies.  And in my life, there have been many mistakes I’ve chosen not to make, by taking the higher ground…and I nearly feel regretful for not acting more human in those situations […]