i’m rather bummed out i think, i’m not sure why…so, i’m gonna delve into my past. these are some excerpts from a journal i kept back in 98, so some of this stuff is a bit dated…. –1/28/98 “…although i did think getting involved with a stripper would be good for me personally to force myself to change. i am a jealous, possessive person and also untrustworthy by nature, so being involved with a girl who’s job is to tease other men would maybe force me to be more open in the future….i felt like a king when i found out a dancer as beautiful as her actually had an interest in ME. oh well, life is great, and i shouldn’t analyze…” –date unknown–98 “…she has already told me she likes me a whole lot and has never met anyone like me before…i’ve lost touch with a lot of friends over women before and i really don’t want it to happen with this one…” “…and why am i not sleeping lately? i just can’t seem to find the time…” “…why does love have to be so strange? i can’t be content to be “in like” or “in lust” with someone, it has to go further. why can’t i be simple like other guys? well, it must be love, otherwise i wouldn’t be thinking about it so much. but what does she think and feel? …i believe she should make the next advance in our relationship…” “…revealing outfits definitely don’t bother me now, i just have to remind myself “half of tulsa has seen her tits anyway” and then i deal with it much better. it’s amazing still, ME of all people dating a stripper…”