I am becoming. I give up. I remember dreaming of being at a mechanic shop, fixing some large new vehicle. Who knows, perhaps it is a sign that I have somthing I need to fix, and that is myself, although no amount of parts or work is going to do it, it simply must happen. I’ve allowed myself to retain these human emotions longer than I anticipated, I wish they would allow me to remove them from this body so that I could be myself again. I gave you all I could give, it seems it wasn’t enough. I can give no more. I should become the thing that all despise, much like Manson….I should become the dirty, dirty rockstar…influencing the world through my actions and art, confusing the masses into believing I am more than a man, pretending to be untouchable in all my power….when alas, I am still simply a human with nowhere to truly go to be understood. Rock on. I give up.