holy hell…how did this happen to me? i’ve never before found something so honest and pure…i got to see stacey in a “normal” mood tonight…just down to earth and such, and it felt so NORMAL….like it wasn’t affecting the new “relationship” that we are sharing, like i had been friends with her for ages and she was just another close friend in need….so strange and yet so beautiful. i got to play in HER world tonight, i explored her apartment like a (insert trite curiosity phrase here). she has a great cd collection, a wonderful book collection….a very cozy place….it felt so pleasant being there, i miss it already and it’s only been like 15 minutes since i left… i’ve made my peace with the couple of souls that have been in strife, so i hope that those things have cleared up and my path onward can now continue without falter. she is SO great….i feel so much emotion within her arms, so much passion in her lips, such bliss within her eyes…i find myself grinning uncontrollably around her and at the mere sound of her voice i get all giddy and shiny, it’s crazy….i didn’t think i really had it in me to be that way anymore, but it seems i never lost it, it was only waiting for the right connection…please just let it be true, allow this to continue, make this one work this time….i don’t want to lose this feeling. i’m already yearning for her company and presence….i’m picturing her sitting on my couch, i keep looking out my bedroom door like she’ll be there to hug and sit with. she listened to my scariest and creepiest dream stories tonight, and simply understood…i’m hoping she didn’t think i was nuts or anything, those things can be quite disturbing if taken the wrong way, but i sense that she knows exactly what i was feeling about it and that it wasn’t untrue. i feel like i’m fucking 15 again and just learning what these feelings are, but yet at such an adult and rational manner…the levels of respect that an adult relationship should begin with, the meaningfulness of all the little things that seem so unimportant, the moment of helplessness when fully gazing into another’s eyes and seeing something other than just another person staring back at you…all those things so many people hope to find within a human body but without all the human qualities…i may have met my match, another creature with which i can share myself without fear of rejection of my flaws and disadvantages, someone i can see with the eyes that we never consciously use… i am spreading my wings once more to now meet my equal, the heart and soul that has grasped my own heart and soul…the beautiful creature contained within the human body i have had the luck and pleasure of finally finding. “…today i asked for a god to pour some wine in my eyes….today i asked for a god to shake some salt in my life….” –faith no more my heart beats there too…