so they changed my medicine….i went from my happy pill to a new one, and it has definitely made some “hard” changes. it has been noticeably less direct than the meds i was on, i feel a bit more “neutral” and less “always happy.” i don’t know if it’s a good thing, but i definitely come off as more real i think. i have noticed myself getting pissed off again, getting annoyed again, all those things that hadn’t happened too often recently. i’m starting to feel those other things again. not in too much of a bad way, just more of a realistic way. i’ve kept myself from having the round cycle of emotion and kept myself inside the happy places….now it’s time to reinvent the other side of my self. i think my body has finished reacting to the lack of my other meds, i’ve felt like shit for the past few days….but i woke up this morning feeling great….so relaxed, refreshed, not as tired….and i didn’t wake up at 6am like i have been doing (not on purpose). things are definitely moving in a strange direction…i’m happy with my life, happier than i have been in a long time, and of course i have those remnant thoughts of previous times when i was happy, but they really aren’t any comparison to the things i’m feeling now. it’s kind of hard to say that, i know, but i’m starting to believe that they were all learning experiences, as much as we all believe anyway. there was a piece of writing that stacey allowed me to read the other day concerning soul mates and how they don’t always have to be “lovers” but can simply be friends, and for some unique reason it brought me a bit of peace. i hated to think that all the love i have touched in the past were simple “normal” relationships, i always felt so much more for those people. i guess it’s nice to be able to see something literal that discusses that soulmates aren’t strictly romantic interests. as far as the twin flame business, i don’t think i’ve met but one of them 😉 our personalites are so parallel it isn’t funny at times. thank you for having that with you, of course, i always expect to learn things at the appropriate times anyway, and it was the time. and so what else? i got hellsing 3 and berserk 4 the other day, both are freakin great, i’d seen hellsing 3 before in japanese, but it made such a bigger impact in english. berserk is just getting better as well, and they are infinitely great at ending the disc right when something MAJOR happens…..alucard and guts should get to fight in some bizarre homemade episode…although alucard could just shoot him in the head….i guess it wouldn’t be such a good fight after all. i’m starting to ramble…i’m getting hungry….i’m out of cigarettenn…..oh jeez. and my phone is ringing again.