My world is a series of contradictions and idiosyncracies, most of which seem abrasive, controlling, and selfish. i appear so hurtful to others because i speak my mind. open truth can be very painful, especially when expressed so plainly. i never meant any harm, and i can pretend that the world is an open playground, but i will forever be the one standing outside the fence trying to understand the rules. i may participate once in a while, but i will always be the last one chosen, always chosen by default. i love to be happy, but i can’t deny the happiness that exists in feeling hurt. without pain, we’d never know how great it feels to be without it.