maybe you’re right…maybe it isn’t me….mabe love just isnt enough. “i love you daniel” and mayvbe that isn’t enough..i always thoguth it was, but i cold be wrong. so tell me agaain? you don’t have broad shoulders. you dont listen to the same music. you dont danc3 the sam e way. you act jealous of me when i talk to other guys. sure….if that’s the reasons, then maybe you’reright. i might as well be called pincushion if thats the case. im apparently notwhat you want, i’m apparently so different that you dont want to believe that i coudl be differenet…… i’ve shown you things you’ve never felt, i’ve shown you things you didnt knowi existed…and yet you want to push them so far away from you…do waht you need, i dont exist, i dont do the things i tell you, i’m no different than anyone else…you’ll find someohe just like me, dont worry. i’m not fucking special in any way…i’m just like every othe fucking guy yo’re going to meet. if thats wha tyou want, take it. i cant see myself being with you when i’m 80. then dont. dont fuckint see yourslef with me when you’re 80. if thats whay you know, thentell me now. i offer you theworld, i offer anyone the world, and if they dont want to take it, its thjier loss, i’ll give the same to anyone. yo want to tell me that i’m not special., you want to tell me that i’m easily replaced…then fucking believe it…convice yourself you can find someone like me, convice yourslef you canfind someone that will do the things i do… im not fucking jealous, if you want those things, take them, who am i to stop you fro9m doing anything… be yourself by yourself….be who you want to be. if you decide you want me after you know who you are, then come find me. you’ve been one in a million to me, you’ve been something i didnt think i’d see again, and chances are i’m not going to replace you in the time it takes you to figure these things out. i’m insanely trashed and drunk ruight now and i shouldnt have geen driving, and i shouldnt be typing either, and i’m sure i’m going to make you mad, but daal with it, this is me, this is what i want to say. and yes, jen asked me “where is your nosering? why havent you been wearing it?” she obviously fuckign knlows that i dont wear it beczjse of you, she knos i act differnt, she knowsi have adjsutec myself for you…and i dont know wny i dol….mayvbe i’m just being fcuikngin retarded… you told me you love me…and i love you, with all my essence and all that i can possibly be for you…and you’re telling me that it isn’t enough…i dont know what else i can do for you to show you that things would be great…. find yourslef, be yoruslef, drag me along if you want, i like the pain, i’m fuck9ng used to it by now…i hurt and io survive, i feel pain and i thrive on it….i dont feel much else. pleasure doesnt remind me that i’m alive, pleasure doeesnt remind me that i am doing soemthin giodd…everyone fuckign hurts me…thats how i know i can stil feel somehting. i wanted you to come ove tonignt, i wanted to feel your hands around me, i wanted to feel your arms aroudn me, i wanted to feel you breathe, i wanted to feel you pressed against me…i wanted to smell your breath and know that you are here…you make me feel safe, you amke me feel scure, you malke me feel like something special whemn i know i shoulndt fcukcking feel a thing…i want to feel so empty, i want to feel so detached…i want to feel NOTHING compareed to what i feel foryoul and i cant make myslef do it…why do you have to be so gawddamn special in my eyes…you were untouchable because you had a bf of 3 years…. and i took the fucking time to try, itook the time to talk to you and get to nknow you…… why the fuck should i feel any different than anyone else….i’m just the same… you do what keeps yo safe, you do what makes you feel speciall..you do all those trhings you couldnt do because you were with some fucking asshole tha trjust took yo ufor granted for all that youa re…. i love you for what you are and who you are to me, and if you don’t like it, then i can’ t change your mind. you do what is best for you, and if it means living without me, theh you fucking tell me and i’ll detach and close my heart…it’s easy to do once youv’e been hurt as much as i have…. you’re beautiful, you’re special, you’re one of a kind, i’m in love with you and i’d be with you forever if you just said the words….