9:35 pm abandon all ye hope… so, it seems i’ve put a bit more faith into my feelings and thoughts than i should have ever allowed, my life and my presence is not as important and fixated in the eyes of another…..i feel way too much and think way too much……my feelings aren’t to be reciprocated. “my life wouldn’t stop if you weren’t in it anymore.” those words sound so painfully familiar…you go through life being told how fucking special and unique you are, but it always comes back to one central starting point….you are born alone, you live your life alone, and you die alone. we are all utterly alone. grow selfish, take care of your own needs and fuck the niceness to others, no one appreciates it the way they truly should. i exist to please myself, i exist to please my needs, i exist to please my feelings, i do not exist to please others. i can only be who i am, i can only express what my heart chooses to feel, i can only express what my mind chooses to think. i believe i am so much more than i really am, and even others believe me to be something more than i am, but is it important? it doesn’t make them wish to be any closer or to take grasp of my feet as i fly away…. i was never truly meant to be on this planet, and i was never meant to fall in love with such desperate passion and unspoken words….my actions are simply futile and meaningless. “…if i could start again a million miles away i would keep myself i would find a way…” –nin