so this weekend… well thursday was fucked up…my premonition happened…i knew things would change that night, and they did…levels of respect were crossed and broken with seemingly no apprehension or thought…so be it. friday i went to the movies, saw Precinct 13…good flick. hung out with a friend and watched Reality Bites…my thoughts on that i already posted. saturday…went to the bar…had some drinks..started feeling sick like i was catching a cold and left a bit early…stopped by to see danya and talked for a while…good times. today…i went and played softball…got some aggression out at least…had a good time. i’m getting old, so it’s time to start being a jock. besides…thats what people want, right? went to visit my parents and played with my niece…watched Shark’s Tale…funny movie. this weekend was hard…not as bad as last weekend, but still difficult. so many things i want to express, so many things that will no longer happen…but whatever. situations can be easily replaced with other people. i can pretend just as easily as anyone else. i gave the crush her valentine’s present on friday as well…something i probably made a mistake in buying, but i don’t regret doing it. i felt the same even with the situation as it is…my heart can’t close as quickly as some will show. i guess i wanted something cathartic…i guess it felt like the end, like that was all…and i’ll remember the look on her face. i’m sure it doesn’t matter anyway, i’ve only wanted to know that i’m not the only one that feels this way, but i’m asking for the wrong reactions. i hope she has the reminder of everything….every time the sun sets, every time the darkness fills the night…every time the pins of light are shining in the sky…i hope you remember me and all that i tried to show you. know that it was always you, and that i meant all the things i ever showed and said to you. none of it was for false intentions and you know that. my heart is more pure than you were ready to see.