she fucking thought of me once, and now it pains me that i even think of her. i want to push everything so fucking far out of my mind..i want everything to erase…and i can’t fucking do it. it’s so easy for people to do it to me… i saw my old friend at trips tonight…my old friend danielle…one of the fire signs that truly knew and understood me…even her gently kissing me on the cheek and hugging me the way she did showed me that she felt something….deep….something meaningful, even after all these years she valued and respected everything that i am and everything i would have given her…just in those brief moments. so many people wish to find creatures like me, and then they pass me off like i’m some fucking insignificant nobody just like the rest of the crowd…then they want to overlook me because someone else is “cute.” the grass is always fucking greener sweetheart, it always is and always will be. make your decisions and make your choices, do what makes you fucking happy and i’ll do what makes me different. i’m the one everyone wants to reach, but i’m left as the lesson. i fucking taught the lesson i needed, i’ve taught it to every soul that i’ve touched…”achieve this and you can be happier” but it’s never with me. i’m not meant to have any of it, i’m meant only to fucking show the potential. you’re no different than any of the rest, i believed you were, and maybe you believed it too…and i was always under your fucking nose, and you even admitted it…so many people telling you that it was me that you needed…but we must always go back to what we know best. why the fuck am i even typing right now, it’s all irrelevant and pointless anyway. like i said, i’m the lesson, i’m not the solution. i’m the best answer that one could find, but no one else will see that. and never tell me that i’m great and that i’ll make someone so happy…it’s sickening to hear those words from a mouth so impure and hurtful. it’s been said way too many times already. i can’t replace your taste, i can’t replace your lips, i can’t replace the way i feel around you. i’ll believe your words and believe that i truly meant nothing to you…and by doing so then i’ll believe that you are as unimportant as you’ve made me feel.