so what to say…my mind hasn’t been very forthcoming lately so i haven’t had much to say. well, i should say there are things i SHOULDN’T say…things i don’t need to make note of i suppose. this would have been so much easier under different circumstances. i want it to erase and disappear. the things i’ve felt lately are inhuman and entirely unfair for someone to deal with on such a fresh daily basis. my spirit was broken, my esteem was shattered…all because i let some fucking woman crawl in my heart. i give people too much faith and grace. oh well. i’m never going to change my ways so i don’t know why it really matters to mention it. i make the same mistake every time, i dive in and give no regard to how they will break my heart, which it seems to happen time and again. i’m a glutton for punishment and a sucker for a sad face. i’ll play your therapist and your best friend, and then when you’ve taken all you need from me, you’ll move on to simply continue your pattern of mistakes that you are so comfortable with doing. i’ve watched every one of you do it, i’ve continued to watch you do it…those notions never seem to change. am i the only one that is going to recognize at least PART of it? i know i can’t be the only one that sees how poorly women let themselves be treated…and even guys…i’ve seen so many women that are simply controlling their relationships because their boyfriends are so naive and innocent about everything…they’ll jump at every word. won’t anyone settle for the medium? i’ve always given so much, and people so often take advantage of me. you know, the kindest words, the sweetest sentinements, the loving utterings from my mouth that i’ve uttered to all these people…i just hope you realize that there’s always an antithesis…if i can speak loving things from my heart, i can also speak the most foul hateful things as well. i’ve given fair warning, and if you put me in a corner, you won’t leave until you’re crying and self-doubting. if you try to shred my dignity i’ll demolish all of yours. make sure you’re ready before you try to match emotion and wit with me. the dragon is a fiery beast…loyal and proud, and eventually dangerous if provoked.