ah yes…that’s always such a great excuse, “it wasn’t intentional.” if we “do” it, it’s intentional. Unfortunately, “pain is an unavoidable side effect.” Saying “it wasn’t intentional” and “i never wanted to hurt you” is human nature, we don’t want to hurt others and we don’t intend to hurt people’s feelings…but we do. The actions we make that hurt people ARE intentional because we choose to make them. It’s a flat out apathetic cover for a human response. Human nature tells us to say…”i didn’t want to hurt you” because we know that we will hurt someone, and we still do it willingly. If I should say right now i’m not “intending” to piss you off with what i’m saying, but that’s not true, i know that it will piss you off, and i’m still saying it, does that still mean it’s unintentional? we have a basic human drive to NOT want others to suffer and hurt…it’s our nature. Ask yourself how you would feel to watch someone be tortured, to watch someone be damaged or injured…to watch them writhe in pain under a knife, or to cry out in agony under a blunt object striking their face. Would you react? Would you want it to happen? No…we don’t want it to happen to anyone. So by saying “it wasn’t intentional” or “i didn’t mean to hurt you” you are simply saying “hey, my human nature and conscience tells me that i don’t want you to suffer, and so i’m going to repeat it to you because it will sound like i don’t know what i’m doing.” if you make the choice, you’ve done something intentional. take responsibility for your actions and decisions…we all make them willingly. next time you think you want to say “i never wanted to hurt you” ask yourself if you didn’t really want to hurt them, why did you allow yourself into a situation that would? –ds