so i guess i sent a text message to someone who i used to call a friend…i was trashed and i don’t remember doing it or what it said. i got a text reply to something, “it was your choice. you are the one that has said things and made things more difficult and there isnt a whole lot more to say about that.” so…whatever that means and whatever that was a reply to. i replied back and said i don’t remember doing it and to just forget anything i said. of course it makes me curious about the “…made things more difficult…” part. i guess my behavior and existence is just SUCH burden on people. i had perhaps thought that maybe i’d been mistaken about a few things…but with direct words like that, i know i’m not. it’s too bad that people won’t understand…a girl can be replaced, they all have vaginas…but you can’t replace your friends. i dreamt of a pig…a small one, i don’t remember what the issue was, it’s fading so fast. i was supposed to do surgery on this thing, alone, that was the deal. there were certain stipulations to follow as well but i can’t remember all of it…then the pig started communicating with me and explained how it simply wanted to die…it’s entire existence was just painful and uneventful…it’s owner was mean and such..i dunno, very weird. i remember the owner showing up and throwing a fit because the surgery wasn’t done…then i started yelling at him that he doesn’t even care, that i’m keeping the pig…yeah, wtf… oh, and she-hag was in parts as well, i remember her with a baby, not the current one, but a new one…i remember it being small and bald, and holding it…watching it smile and laugh at me when i played with it (i dont know if it was m/f) and something with someone close to me being upset and in pain…and holding her on my lap and in my arms as she bawled endlessly on my shoulder…seems to be my pattern…