ok, i’ve avoided mentioning this for it only happening once, but now i dreamt it again…just weird that it’s carrying through now, i guess it’s good though because it’s the reaction i want to have and use, not the other lovey happy stupid crap that i used to dream. well, the other night in the dream, i saw a couple people i didn’t want to see, and as i walked by, one of them looked at me and caught eyes with me the same as always, and it just perturbed me…i just spouted “quit fucking looking at me like that” as i walked by and just heard the gasping behind me from the people involved…it almost felt…cathartic. it also felt uncontrolled, like i didn’t really intend on saying it but that it just happened and sorta blurted out. so then this morning in my midst of waking up, i had another one…i was standing barely outside my cube here at work and several people were around and it was crowded, and i heard that squeaky voice and looked back to see two people walking off, one of them trying to be cute and snuggled to the other person’s back or something, hard to describe, and one of them turned and smiled at me and i just looked at them and shook my head and said “you’re a fucking whore…” and just turned and went back to what i was doing. bad daniel? maybe. i think i’m closer to figuring out what i want from it though, there’s something that needs to drop and i’m on the verge of realizing if what i’m thinking is right. if so, maybe all this will disappear finally.