and i’m still awake…and i can’t sleep….which is oxymoronic for me to say that “im still awake” and “i can’t sleep” isn’t it?

i keep thinking of that weird bit from teh old STP song….”where did (mary?) go….and where’s my last cigarette….”

work will come so early tomorrow…actually i need to be awake in about 4 hours now, so it would be nice if i could freakin SLEEP sometime…i don’t even know what’s on my mind that is keeping me awake right now.

i think i’m craving comfort and seclusion with another…maybe craving sanctity or forgiveness…forgiveness from those that i shouldn’t even be asking.  sometimes it bothers me that that one person said she wasn’t ready to forgive me, but then again, i never did anything wrong…my selfless humility urged me to apologize for actions that weren’t untrue or detrimental…

sometimes i’ll never understand my wicked torture of loving all of you and hating humanity at the same time…please, someone, show me that you’re not all the same?

ahh….sigh….