6-14-99

Well, missed several dream experiences lately – my third eye seems to be wanting to open…some strange stuff lately.  I found out danielle’s middle name is Lee, yet another “coincidence” I guess.  Strange third eye vision last night of stone walls.  Dreams becoming more vivid and aware…perhaps pure and constant lucidity is near.  Dealing with “others” better than in the past.  Hung out w/ D. very cool chick, would like to get to know her better.  Very intelligent, never once said “duh…what/”  so that’s a good sign.  Lo finally flipped out.  I don’t know if I should have expected it or what…I suppose I thought it partly was just guilt, she’s in the hospital in “lock down” until morning.  Talked to Mel, she is a pretty cool chick too.  I feel Bev is pissed at me for what happened to “her baby” and Robert agrees.  She has been very short and curt about it.  Danya is out of town and needs to come back, I have no girls to talk to.  I’ve been lonely tonight, D never called me back…I really would have enjoyed her company, or anyone else for that matter.  So here I sit alone in my last night of my empty apartment before I go back home to security.  And I missed seeing D last night because of the damn meeting…bastards…and I haven’t gotten to talk to her yet…call me….

Lo, I’m sorry I am this way.  I never wanted to cause this much pain, or any for that matter.