what the fuck? hah. yeah. you’re tricked. just 3am, watching tv…and an infomercial came on about “Pos T Vac” which is apparently something to help with ED as they’re abbreviating it. “husband and wife think they don’t love each other anymore because of it.” wow…your dick doesn’t get hard…so you don’t love me and you’re […]

i think i’ve felt censored lately. not sure why. just a phase, i suppose. sometimes my insecurity really gets the better of me and it can be hard to shrug off certain things, but i’m working on it. of course this isn’t a “me” problem, it’s a human problem. we always want to feel special, […]

you know, sometimes we never stop to think about and appreciate those around us. my friends…are great. all of them. maybe i haven’t told them individually, or for any particular reason, but they rock. my friends are so open and accepting, and it’s rare to have so many people that are. they’ve always been overly […]

Pearl Jam — “Wishlist” I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top I wish I was […]

NIN — The Only Time i’m drunk. and right now i’m so in love with you. and i don’t want to think too much about what we should or shouldn’t do. lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars. while the devil wants to fuck me in the back […]

i’ve realized…i’m slipping. i’m letting others win.  i’ve wanted to believe i’m staying on top, and i’m not.  i’ve let so many subtle things and comments dissuade me from upholding my self-image and i need to put a stop to it NOW.  i’ve worked too damn hard to raise myself to where i am after […]

i can’t sleep.  i have a new muse, i have new inspiration, but i can’t find the words i want to say.  my words are failing right now, and i’ve looked to the past for motivation.  in doing so, i found a piece of apathy and distraction i thought i’d share. –june 23, 2003—————————- i […]

Dust Brothers — This Is Your Life (fight club soundtrack) And you open the door and you step inside Were inside our hearts Now imagine your pain is a white ball of healing light That’s right your pain, the pain of self is a white ball of healing lightI don’t think soThis is your life […]

1.What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? met more new people and friends in 2006 than my entire life. 2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year? sadly no, my one goal i’d set was not achieved. 3. Did anyone close to you give […]

watching you from across the table…your eyes nervously glancing around, trying to stare without seeming obvious…as your lips dance around the straw to your half-finished drink.  i want to take you home with me.  i’ve counted the times you’ve lightly bit your bottom lip as you looked at me, the quiet, shy smile that you […]