sometimes i just can’t find words (or maybe my words just…don’t do justice) for the emotions in my head…my heart is riddled with sympathy right now and i’m stuck knowing there’s nothing i can do to help. i understand…i do…there is NOTHING i can do…mentally or physically…but it doesn’t stop me from hurting. i wish i could snap my fingers and change events…i wish i could blink my eyes and wish it away…i wish i could wake you up one morning and show you it was all a bad dream…

but i can’t. not this time. my heart weeps for you, the sadness is overflowing and makes me weak. senseless things like this should never happen…and it really compromises certain lines we may feel lie between rage and grief. i’ve found myself in darker places when thinking about it…if i were in similar spots…i don’t know that i could keep myself from taking action. i’ve thought about what i would do if people hurt those close to me…as passive as i am…i’ve watched myself gut strangers in my mind. i’ve watched myself with zero hesitation to end those who have ended ones close to me. maybe the scary part is…is that i’m calm. in my head at least. rationality snaps me out of those morbid visions, reminding me that those things won’t happen…but reality only shows us that they do. if you hurt someone that i love…would you be able to stop me?