my apologies…to those of you who have heard only negative things about my life lately. it’s true that it isn’t fair that no one hears the good things…the positive things…the loving things. i run to my friends when i have issues and problems, and by doing so, i’m making someone feel a bit alienated because i give only a one-sided story.
as for the things i’ve said, please hold them against ME. they were my mistakes, my overreactions, my thoughtless insinuations. as guilty as i am of saying one sided things, i’m also guilty of only seeing one side of things. whereas my innate sense of equality and justice holds strong in situations, it seems this is one area that i’m lacking. there are areas to be worked on, i know, and as tough as things are…i know we are trying. things have started out so damned difficult already, so i guess it has seemed tough to find our balance. we will. i know we will. tomorrow always brings a new time for reflection and discussion, and it seems each day we grow stronger together. with as much as we’ve been through, i at least think we are coming to a point where nothing can tear us apart because everything else is going to seem so trivial.
as for the positive things no one ever hears…
she drives 30 minutes all the way across town to bring me lunch and spend 30 minutes with me…only to make the same trip back across town.
she has come by my place, totally out of her way, and totally unexpectedly, just to hug me and kiss me and see me for 5 minutes.
she has given me strength when i’ve been so near my breaking point, and brought me back from the edge of just wanting to give up entirely.
she has given me greeting cards for no reason…simply to tell me how much she loves me and cares about me.
she has sleepovers with me…we watch movies and cuddle on the couch the way couples should do.
she plays with my hair when i lay my head in her lap.
she brings my tylenol when i’m hungover with a headache.
she drove out of her way to bring me juice and medicine when i was home sick and puking my balls off, and took the risk of catching it as well, with no hesitation.
she encourages me to do the things i want to do with my life.
and the list can go on…
but the biggest one of all, she kisses me and hugs me when we are at our fiercest…when our emotions are strongest and we feel we are at an impass and fighting…she still stops…and hugs me and kisses me.