fuck. went to bed at 430am, long night, not an enjoyable one other than the company i was with. today has nothing to do with meds…i’m so tired i wouldn’t notice anyway 🙂 today is another off day though, i’m doing pretty well, very little withdrawal anymore. may go ahead and drop to half doses […]

there’s a giant ass “daddy long legs” spider in my shower. actually two of them. i think i will call them Johnny and Tambourine.

day 8…off again today. not feeling much withdrawal, just a bit hazy. definitely a noticeable amount of disappointment and depression today, i’m sure i’m gonna swing pretty heavy over the next few weeks. however, the feelings of being elated and excited are enough to balance out the depression and anxiety feelings. it’s nice to have […]

i’m thinking of going back to blonde for a while. it’s summertime, right? blondes have more fun. i feel too…blah. i need more clothes too. hell, i need a girl to go shopping with, first and foremost. it’s no fun alone.

ok, so i watched star wars ep 4-6 this weekend (again) and in the vein of “Clerks” and discussing some flaws in the culture and actions (ala contract workers building the death star vs imperial stormtroopers) i noticed something in Empire. ok, everyone knows how to knock out an AT-AT. you need a snowspeeder to […]

here we are at day 7. today is an “on” day, i’m a little jittery, but i had a lot of caffeine too. sometimes it’s hard to tell which is affecting me, the meds or outside influences. my stomach is a mess again today too. i think i’ve narrowed that down though, i got this […]

anyone sick of reading yet? thanks to those who do, it means a lot. it’s nice to have people along with me for the journey. plus it helps to have a written record of my starting point and progress. my head is clearer today too, though a bit fuzzy, but the headache isn’t as bad. […]

now day 5, was on yesterday, back off meds again today (and for tomorrow). definite increase in fuzziness, a tad more dissassociated and detached and a tad hard to focus. a bit more lethargic, i’d love to just be in bed sleeping, but i’m less so when i’m actually doing something (like working right now). […]

today was my “on” day for the meds. i can definitely tell a difference too. i had a really bad headache when i woke up, not the typical kind, but the withdrawal kind. yes, i’ve done this all before, been through it all before, so i know exactly what to expect and how it all […]

If you only knew how very little I cared about what you thought, and the craziness you believe. You do bring me great joy at your utter stupidity!!!!!!! I’m over it, over all of you, all of your petty, childish, self-centered behavior. Thank God….I am free from whatever it is that I let you bind me […]