i think i’ve lacked expression lately…but i’m not sure what i want to say. not yet, at least.

i’ve been watching and observing, and i’ve kept my mouth at bay…at least for a while. i think i’ve been losing my ability to censor my words and a lot of things i say just…hurt people. well, some deserve it. i haven’t wanted to sugar coat anything…but some just aren’t ready to hear unabashed truth.

i’ve distanced from a lot of people…and gotten closer to others…i don’t think i really need to point out if it’s “you” or not, it should be known or obvious. doesn’t mean i love you less, just means i need time away, time away to cleave my involvement from people and situations.

i still hate watching people making all the same mistakes, all the same choices that lead them back to what they bitch about…but i can’t fix them. i can’t make them change. hell, people don’t change…that’s why they’re all so predictable.

i miss times when things were simple…and yet i yearn for times that are complicated…

and oh yes, i have a new love…one that truly respects me for ME, appreciates all the smallest things i do along with the biggest things too…one that complements me well.

and right now, i miss her.

———–
Tisha Penn
I am a person that says the brutally honest truth even if it hurts. And I want the same back to me. My biggest pet-peeve is when people say they are going to do something and they don’t follow through, like you said. There are a lot of people that are fake as hell that act like they are real, but you are a VERY good judge of character, you always have been. I loved talking to you because you were so intellectual and a smartass too. LOL I love you for that. I have know you for a long time. I wish I was closer to you, so we could reconnect as closer friends as we were when we were young. But I tried to fix things in my family & friends for so many years and change the way people treated each other. I finally said, “That’s it, no more.” And the stress level is so much better. I have to tell you I lost closeness with my family and I lost a lot of friends, but that told me something. I was always calling, I was always doing everything for everyone, no one was doing anything for me.
I wish for whatever reason you are missing this special angel to you that understands you and you feel so much at ease, but if you ever need your longtime friends. You KNOW we are just a phone call away or a drive away. I luv ya! 🙂
Reply2 years ago