well, not really goodness.  more like stressfulness.

there are too many players from my dream last night to remember and to accurately discuss, but most of them weren’t the focus anyway.

some reason Shehag was in it, i don’t know how i got there…i was in a house with her, a huge house…i mean HUGE.  we barely spoke, i only remember her asking if i knew about her boyfriend, and i remember asking “what, that he’s a douche?”  and she smiled…opened a door to a room and then looked in, closed it, and said “yup…apparently so.”  then she walked around somewhere else on the second floor, then came back down, and the stairs to the basement were sortof encased in brick, like, small brick walls leading down into the basement, hard to explain.  of course…then i started feeling a little weird, like, that if the dude is there, i shouldn’t be there.  then i guess the doorbell rang, and we walked outside and it seems someone was there to do some type of maintenance or something, i dunno, and i needed to move my car and find a pair of pliers.  shehag walked in much faster than me, so i was a tad left behind, and i turned and walked toward the door and snagged my arm on a rose bush.  i mean, literally, my arm was ensnared in these branches, i had gashes all over my arms, and i was standing there alone, as she’d already walked inside.  i slowly pried my arm out and went back inside, then it just got stranger.  there were more people showing up that i didn’t recognize, like there were several college students living there or something.  then one of them said he knew me, of course i had no idea who he was…and people were taking pictures, and it was just totally strange.  i think somehow i started phasing out, but i think i ended up being in that same house, but everyone else had disappeared. 

things got hazy from there, but in some weirdness i slipped out of the house and phased into “2fort” from Team Fortress Classic, i know…strange…and rounded a corner (i was floating or moving extremely fast now) and went into the ‘base’ but when i did it just turned into a large public type bathroom with several stalls.  there was someone in there, almost waiting…and then i sortof lost gusto again and drained and fell to the floor.  another person came in and the two started fighting, and after one submitted it seems the winner’s girlfriend showed up, though i don’t know which person she was with.  the two guys slipped away and left, and i was still lying on the ground, and the girl (she seemed to know me, but i don’t think i knew her) knelt beside me talking to me, and i remember trying to whisper and mutter for her to wake me up.  she just kept consoling and patting me on the arm or something, like, she didn’t understand.  i couldn’t get the words out, i know i kept trying to hard to speak but i think all i could say was “please…wake…me…”  and repeated it several times.  of course, the tell-tale resonating started, and when i started shaking, the girl started backing away…and stood up and stepped back further and further, and as the shaking got worse, i think i ended up back at the strange house i’d started in.  of course, i’m all but fully conscious through this whole experience, as conscious as one can be while sleeping. 

back in the house, i’m still lying on the floor, trying to wake up and i just can’t bring myself out of it.  there were more people bustling around inside and it seems danya was there as well, and she came over and knelt down as the other girl had, but she was putting on her shoes.  apparently there was nothing unusual about me lying on the floor in the middle of the day in this house.  she was talking, but i don’t know what she was saying, i can’t remember words, but i said the same thing…’wake…me…please…”  but she just giggled at me like i was joking.  i was able to get out the words “bad…dream…wake….”  but she didn’t know what i meant.  i think i even untied her shoe trying to stall her, but she tied it and stood up and left.  seems i was…left alone, no one around, and then i started bouncing back and forth between waking and sleeping.

i couldn’t wake up, i’d slowly come out of it and see my room, then i fell back in, and this went on for about 20 minutes as i was fighting and fighting to wake myself but i couldn’t do it.  i dunno, somehow i finally ended up awake, my mouth was terribly dry and chapped and i just had to force myself up and out of bed so i didn’t get stuck in the process again.  i hate those times…i can’t really explain it…basically…knowing that i’m in a dream, but i’m almost asleep in the dream…and i can’t wake myself in life OR in the dream, so i’m sort of just stuck in limbo.  it’s not overly scary, just a bit disturbing and bothersome.  now i’m exhausted…as i always am…since it ruined my sleep pattern.  i haven’t given much thought to the events though, i can’t place any meaning for the things in the dream, it just seemed to be an awkward string of events.  i know…odd for me to say a dream could be just random….