i touched her again. i couldnt’ stand it…i went to her place…quietly walked through the dark, and just wanted a glimpse of her pretty face as the moonlight shone through the window. it was lovely. but i ghad to touch her. she awoke with a fright…of course…i’ve had people do that to me and it’s scary shit…sorry…holding her in my arms was just..breathtaking. it was so sad to let her go. she hugged me back…and caressed my back and ran her fingers through my hair…it felt so wonderful. i only wanted to stay in those arms forever and keep that moment through the night…
i kissed her gently on the cheek…she kissed back…and i kissed her forehead one last time before leaving…
she seems so far gone already, my heart hurts. she did text and ask where i was, and that i didn’t need to drive all the way home if i wasn’t safe…but i was so close already. i said a few sentiments…about wishing to be in her arms…but nothing was repeated back to me, only “sweet dreams!” i don’t want to believe the feelings are gone..i don’t want to believe she didn’t feel the same way…i don’t understand how she can stay so far away and so quiet…perhaps my words have simply lost meaning. so quickly she seems to be turning it off.
it kills me…i want my muse, i want my love…i want my jennifer back…what have i done…what can i do…i’m pushing her away and i can’t stop it 🙁