(and here it is…the writing i’d mentioned days ago, it was delivered, and without negative results, and upon mutual agreement…here it is for all to see, for everyone to know just how much she means to me)

What can I say? She is captivating. She is the one that I’ve sought for so long, always outside my grasp for whatever reasons, but now…I want to risk it. I deserve it. I have observed her from a distance, being patient, waiting for the right time, and maybe it’s now. What do I stand to gain? Everything. And what do I stand to lose? Everything. My actions can so easily break what has been built so far, but to be honest, I don’t think they will. I think the situation so far can maintain it’s strength after an expression like this, and I pray it does, because I don’t want to lose it all.

She makes me smile. Always. Never have I had a bad time with her, we always have a blast. Even something as simple as eating a quick lunch at the mall, spending 5 quality minutes talking at the bar, or passing texts back and forth at 2am…I have always enjoyed our time spent. And what does that mean? We are great friends…great even beyond people I’ve known for so much longer. We quickly grew together, starting as total strangers, and now she is my best friend and means the world to me.

And who has been there for me for the past year and a half? The girl keeping me sane? The girl keeping me out of trouble? She has always taken care of me, through me being ridiculously stupid about a girl, to me being ridiculously alone and depressed without a girl. Always. She has never strayed as my friend, has always stood by my side, and has always listened to me and cared for me. What more can I ask for? She is the one I turn to, the one that saves me, the one that fills me full of self-worth and confidence when all others fail.

I trust her. I trust her completely. She’s never done me wrong, and never showed malicious intent to hurt me, and that alone speaks volumes. She has never turned her back on me, never shown me reason to question her actions, and never been two-faced about me. That’s a tough quality to find in a person, period, and I’m lucky to have found it in her. I’ve never felt hesitation with her as I have with the others. She always keeps track of me in public…grabbing my hand if need be, and always introduces me to EVERYONE. Always. Never have I felt left out or unwanted in her presence, and in the most beautiful text one night, she even said “my friends are your friends!” No other girl has ever done that for me, or said that for me. You’re never embarrassed of me, you’re never insecure about me, and you always act so happy to have me near, even in your busiest most socially explosive times as you parade around the bar talking to everyone you know. You always manage to look over at me and make sure I’m ok.

She is the one that invades my mind and thoughts, the one that makes me dream, the one that makes me fantasize. Many a dream have I had of her, from simple menial things to incredible sensual things. My thoughts of her have saved me from bad situations as well…my adoration for her saved me from an old relationship…and even now, seeing that glimmer in her eyes and the tenderness of her touch…the heat of her breath against my neck and ear that one intense night…made me realize I was making a mistake. Not a mistake with her, but a mistake in trying to fix something that is forever broken. She gave me the confidence to stand up for myself and to realize I wasn’t where I wanted to be. Maybe I’ve tried to delude myself…but now I know where I want to be, and it’s in her arms. She is the one held above all others…the one heart i’ve held above all others, always. The one true place i’ve waited to be for so long.

I’ve dreamt of our lips touching, and I thought it would simply remain a dream. But alas, ever so gently, they’ve touched. Deeply and sensually? No…innocently and gracefully…so slight yet so…direct. However small, it will always be special to me. In that briefest instant…I was free again. I’d mired myself in such darkness I didn’t think I’d find my way out, and it took the brightness of the stars to lead me out. For that…I can never express my gratitude. Were it not for her…I’d still be so lost, so trapped, and so transfixed in self-destruction…I don’t even want to think about where I’d be right now.

Smile for me..let me stare into your dark eyes…let me gently brush the stray hair away from your cheek…throw your arms around my neck and lean into my soul again as you did that night, let me hear your laughter in my ear and your lips upon my neck…tell me how we’re doing nothing wrong, tell me that this is what we’ve been waiting for…this one intense, pure, immaculate moment…where we finally connect in the way we’ve waited for over so many months.

You know how I feel about you, and now I’m vulnerable. Again, I trust you enough to not destroy me, and I hope this wasn’t a mistake. If I spent more time holding this inside, if I spent more months thinking I’ll find someone else, if I wallow through more relationships believing that she may make me feel the way I do around you…well, I’d simply be living the biggest lie. I’ve seen what I want, I’ve seen who I want, and though I’ve strayed…I’ve never lost sight. I’m taking the risk that I’ve always feared taking.

——-
Lizz Mozingo
You know what? I remember you showed me this girl online a little more than a year ago… Wow, congrats that you finally have the pleasure of spending your days with her… Happy for you!
Reply(1)4 years ago

Daniel Self
she’s my best friend 🙂
4 years ago

Blake Cover
I know you really wrote this about me. I’m flattered.
Reply(2)4 years ago

Blake Cover
I’m Batman. No. I won’t tell you where I get those wonderful toys.
4 years ago

Daniel Self
how are you so clever??
4 years ago