now day 5, was on yesterday, back off meds again today (and for tomorrow). definite increase in fuzziness, a tad more dissassociated and detached and a tad hard to focus. a bit more lethargic, i’d love to just be in bed sleeping, but i’m less so when i’m actually doing something (like working right now). when i’m up walking around, that’s when i feel a bit…absent. everything is a tad hazy when i’m just walking around with no direction…walking to the printer, bathroom, outside, etc. i’m very coherent though, no loss of concentration, just fuzzy. emotions are still heightening, which is good, and i’m back to making intuitive connections and relations to situations.
that may not make sense to most, but the current situation i’m in right now, i’m definitely having to look to my past to try to relate certain reactions and lack thereof to the same experiences i’ve had in the past. seems though, i did make a revelation today, that the reaction i’ve had recently from somene is the same as i’d had with the Shehag. there was a time of avoidance and quietness due to confusion and even distraction. it seems to happen when things are revealed or expressed, and sometimes it puts us in overload and we can’t really process it with everything else going on around us. sometimes it’s just easier to place it on the backburner and avoid the cause of what is throwing us into said confusion and upheaval.
we shall see. of course, that’s nothing totally related to dropping the meds, simply that i’m being able to see patterns and connections again, which could be due to time elapsed to think about it…or the fact that my emotional responses are increasing back to my normal intuitive levels.
also…”coincidentally” i was listening to an old Coast to Coast radio show from back around the time of the Virginia Tech shooting/massacre, and it was related that the kid involved was on SSRI meds. also it was related that anytime something like this has happened…mothers killing children, people going on shooting rampages…etc…those people have all been on SSRI psychotropic drugs. not to say they don’t help a lot of people…but they can also be very detrimental if you’re already fucked in the head. pretty wild stuff.
google that shit!