i was finally able to cry…something i hadn’t done in a while. i was reminded of something a friend offered and now i’m never going to have that opportunity, something that made me smile and weep all at once. i need to feel something again, i’m glad i was able to feel it. i miss you kent, i’m glad i was able to know you for the 3 years that i did, i’m glad that we were able to maintain a friendship without ever even meeting in person. i should be talking about how senseless the events were, and how it was uncalled for…we all know these things. and i’m ultimately a believer in things happening for a reason. those reasons are not always clear to us or understandable by those closest, and so i don’t even begin to speculate. i only wish that you are happy wherever you are, kent, and that those of us that are still here will always miss your presence until we are able to see each other again. you know that you are gone but never forgotten…not by me and not by anyone else. i keep thinking of how you offered to pay for my expenses to come visit you and aric and how i just put it off for this or that reason, and of course now i feel stupid for not taking the chance, i’m not able to say that i met you in person, but i guess it wouldn’t have changed a whole lot, i mean, i’m sitting here with tears rolling down my face already. it has taken me a week to finally find the real words for all these things, and to find the emotion i was wanting to express. and thanks to rog for reminding me of these things, i guess i needed the reassurance that they were true. blessed be, dear kent, you are always in our hearts and thoughts.