i can feel it, i can sense it, i’m finding myself depressed. maybe not so much emotionally, but at least chemically. i’m losing motivation for anything, and at the same time, i feel better around other people. maybe i’m lonely? maybe i need affection or attention? maybe i’m missing something? and i hope to God it’s not from missing someone…there are a lot of people i think about lately, and i can’t discern which one causes me to feel empty…the comfortability is what i miss from the ONE…that and nothing more…the ability to have something automatically without having to work at it, without having to learn quirks about a personality, without having to impress someone and make them believe you’re someone that truly doesn’t exist… but i do. i do exist, i’m right here, and i’ve been waiting for my turn. something keeps blocking me at every step, and i’m not sure if it is intentional or if i’m facing the wrong directions…have i seen the right faces i’m supposed to see? or am i again biding my time helping the needy and emotionally ill? sometimes the humanity in my soul is a bit unbearable, i’d like to be carnal and satisfied at times and not so damned inclined to “fix” everyone that needs it. i think something genuine may come from the latest situation, but i don’t know how soon. she is going to have to let go of certain attachments and stubbornness in fixing something that is already dead, and i’ve got to stop thinking about how difficult it will be to maintain a relationship with a taurus…that and if there is some fucking significance to me always finding women whose first names start with D…. tell me stars, tell me.