something woke me last night/this morning, and it’s something i’ve not seen before.  i felt my body go under, as usual…and the pain from my busted up ribs was keeping me awake.  i started losing touch with my physical self, i felt it slipping under, and then the tell-tale shaking hit me.  i felt my body start trembling and vibrating, but i kept my head clear and kept myself awake, and then i started to paralyze.  i felt something in the room, right behind my head and i couldn’t make it go away.  i finally rolled over (well, maybe not my body) and there it was, just floating slightly above my pillow.  it seemed to be half-in, half-out, as though it wasn’t fully materialized, and i saw part of the neck and head sort of, elongate as i was watching.  of course my mind was fearful, as always, seeing these things is never easy and never feels safe.  it was angled, like, almost an elbow shape.  from where it started, it sort of had a 90 degree bend in it and then the head started from there, but it was almost equine, very long with a horse-like snout i guess you could say.  it was dark, mostly black with a little brown, very small black eyes.  it had lips and teeth that i remember, very thin, no fangs.  just sortof grimaced a little, perhaps to scare me back, but i just kept looking, the fear was coming over me but i held my ground, i tried to turn away but i don’t think i could, so i started speaking to it since it wasn’t moving.  i was forceful at first, urging it to disappear and leave me alone, and then i raised my voice at it demanding it leave, but it wasn’t budging.  it wasn’t making an attempt to move at me or toward me at all, and as the image has ran through my head today, i had a very odd thought.  i think this thing was nervous.  i kept looking at it’s eyes, and from what i see in my head of it, i almost believe it was scared.  not scared of me, or fearful of anything, but scared like…it knew.  it wasn’t supposed to be seen, and i think because i was looking directly at it, the thing felt uncomfortable.  generally these things are more direct in their approach, they come at me or attempt to get near me, but this one stayed in it’s spot, almost as if it was waiting for me to close my eyes.  we just sat for a moment, staring at each other, me with fear in my heart and it too, possibly concerned that it was in a wrong place.  after a few minutes i would say, my mind started swirling and i think i was slipping back.  i remember opening my senses and “forcing” my energy toward it, mostly to encourage it to leave…not in a violent or detrimental way, but more of an opening of things.  i tried to create a surge around it, possibly to break the image and to break it away from me, but i think i just knocked myself back down to sleep, and shortly after i felt my body again and felt myself trembling, and i couldn’t open my eyes, and when i could move again it took all my effort to wake myself.  my heart was pounding as it typically does with these things and my eyes were hazy and i felt very empty, but i was able to relax myself enough to drop my heart rate back down and i slowly started feeling my muscles again. 

this face was unusual, i’ve never seen this type of reaction or emotion from one of these things, maybe only once and that was a different type of thing and a different type of dream, but typically they’re angry, selfish and purposeful.  this one almost seemed lost in a way, not quite as scared of me as i was of it, but i know something in it’s eyes was showing me something was wrong.  not sure what to make of it, because it didn’t seem to have intent of doing anything, maybe the whole thing was a mistake.  again after going over the experience in my head, i don’t think it was hostile, but it wasn’t quite enlightened.  i think it may have been a little higher vibration than i’m used to, so perhaps it was a little more neutral than the other ones i see.  i need more practice so i can stay longer and observe things more closely, but it’s so hard to fight the fear that i feel when it happens, even with knowing i’m in no danger, there’s just the whole sensation that it is very very wrong…and that those things are not supposed to be there, and it’s scary as hell.  but i’m getting better.