perhaps it was only a dream i needed to have. perhaps i didn’t even see you last night…maybe i imagined it all…the painful words, the belief that it would never be true, the complexity of me being who i am… maybe you’re right, maybe i’m fooling myself in thinking that i can step outside of my league, step outside of my societal acceptance…maybe i was never meant to be. so many thoughts swelling in my head…so many visions…i dreamt you were still here, that our conversation continued, that you allowed yourself to take the step inside my world…that you ignored all those things that you believe to be so true… and alas, i woke up, as i always do…i realized it was a dream, that it didn’t happen…that it wasn’t going to happen… i wish i could make you see those things that are so apparent…i am still exactly the same soul that you knew before you saw your glimpse of “my world” …. apparently my existence frightens you, causes you to falter, gives you a sense of misunderstanding…maybe you never thought that yours does the same for me… i feel i have tears behind my eyes and i don’t know why…i think i just don’t have another emotion to feel about it right now, so perhaps it’s easier to respond this way… i have had a drastic impact on your life over only the few short months i’ve known you, and part of me wants to blame myself for your indiscretions and for showing you things that you didn’t know existed…i don’t like touching people’s lives the way i do…i don’t like to hear “you’re drastically different than anyone i’ve ever met” as much as that separates me from those i wish to be separate from…and now i feel i’m rambling… sometimes it’s never best to do what you want or what you feel…maybe i was wrong to follow my own feelings and not my own thoughts…my self-worth and rationality would never let me chase something like you…. maybe you SHOULD follow your thoughts and not what you feel inside…it has kept you safe from people like me. Crush -Dave Matthews Band- Crazy how it feels tonight Crazy how you make it all alright love You crush me with the things you do I do for you anything too Sitting smoking feeling high In this moment it feels so right Lovely lady I am at your feet God I want you so badly I wonder this Could tomorrow be So wondrous as you there sleeping Let’s go drive ’till morning comes Watch the sunrise to fill our souls up Drink some wine ’till we get drunk It’s crazy I’m thinking Just knowing that the world is round Here I’m dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down Is this real or am I dreaming Lovely lady Let me drink you please I won’t spill a drop I promise you Lying under this spell you cast on me Each moment The more I love you Crush me Come on It’s crazy I’m thinking Just knowing that the world is round Here I’m dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down Is it real or am I dreaming Lovely lady I will treat you sweetly Adore you I mean you crush me It’s times like these When my faith I feel And I know how I love you Come on Lady It’s crazy I’m thinking Just as long as you’re around And here I’ll be dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down To each other we’ll be facing By love we’ll beat back the pain we’ve found You know I mean to tell you all the things I’ve been thinking deep inside My friend With each moment the more I love you Crush me Come on So much you have given love That I would give you back again and again Meaning I’ll hold you And please let me always