things haven’t been as prevalent in my mind lately, but they still won’t go away. i watch the images bounce in my head, i think of the memories we shared over such a short time…i think of how things went so astray. Shallow Crush questioned how and why i could gain such favor for her in such a short amount of time, and wanted to believe that it was mere infatuation…she wants to push everything so far out of her mind… when we had our nearly last desperate talk, i told her that in a month’s time she would probably replace me and never remember and never look back…and i think it’s already happened. she confessed that it would never happen, that i’ll always be there, i’ll always be special and hold a place in her heart…but why do i feel this way if that is true? why do i feel so desolate and pushed…so far gone that i never existed…i feel that i’ve simply been erased, washed, and replaced and that i meant nothing. how many times did we sit on the bed and just giggle and laugh? how many hours did we spend talking about irrelevant things and just entertained each other with our company? how many experiences did we share as “firsts” for both of us that can never be replaced? how many tears have poured from both our eyes in a shower of emotion that we both felt in joy and suffering? how often did i tell you that i will always be overlooked and overstepped when everyone takes what they want from me? i keep seeing all those insignificant fucking things you did while i quietly watched you..the things that i won’t see about any other creature…the things i would abandon for just one more minute to run my fingers through your soft hair…to make sloppy braids in it…to run that brush through it again….