Iniquity of Flitzanu

so, went to brian’s mardi gras party last night…was greeted with a hand grenade when i walked in the door, so that was good. everyone loved my mask…i wore it all night. i think i had a hurricane in my hand all night, so i stayed nice and drunk. there were mostly familiar faces there, […]

i dont want to cry anymore, make it go away…

something give me fucking peace and serenity…which is the way to go right now, should i fight it and dissolve her memory from my fucking mind or should i appease my senses and allow myself to see her again, hear her voice, look at her eyes and beauty…long for the touch of her hands… so […]

so many things to share, so many things to do so many things broken, so many things untrue i want to see the look on your face when you were upset, when you cried because you knew it hurt to watch me walk away…how upset you were, how disdainful the situation had become…and how you […]

i’d almost forgotten how i erased the snip about my moment of passion with the clogger…it had happened only the night before i muttered those words to you about “i have a crush on you.” funny how things work out. Sunday, October 17th, 2004 ——————————————————————————– 6:49a – beauteous events… you know, it feels awkward thinking […]

and so it started… Sunday, October 3rd, 2004 ——————————————————————————– 2:32a – hmmm so where do i stand now? ok, i’m drunk, finally, and sitting at teh keyboard, so truth can flow again…. i think i’m a bit uneasy with tyring to pursue relationships, i can tell that i’m hesitant about allowing myself to have deep […]

i keep waking up expecting to see you lying beside me asleep, as if nothing has changed…or even sleeping on my couch…so i wake up and i always check the living room to see if you are there…and i don’t fucking know why. i still think about things and want to cry, everyone tells me […]

i had a great review today at work and got a nice raise…at least i have something to feel good about now…… not that i feel BAD…i just hate feeling like i’ve had half of me taken away…like my best friend is gone from my life. which i guess she is.

this hurts so much both ways i wish i really knew what the answer was…maybe if i knew that it bothers you as much as it does me i would feel better about it, but i doubt that would matter…i don’t think i can do it, i can already see myself breaking down… i talked […]