Iniquity of Flitzanu

And briefly this morning, I felt vilification. Briefly I felt desire to bump into you, and thus to look through you. Something finally broke, and I’d almost BEG one word spoken, just to humiliate you. For so long I’ve kept believing it is me, but it isn’t. It wasn’t. I really want to go to […]

me? i was in the shower. the shehag called once, i ignored it being in the shower. called again a couple minutes later, so i assumed it was important. she had that hushed, quiet voice she used to do when she was scared or upset, so i knew something was wrong. i was out of […]

And she put super glue in each of my palms and told me to make a circle with my arms, touching my palms together tightly. She the crawled into my circled arms, gently, and said, “now you can hold love in your arms forever.” She then smiled brightly at me, that smile that makes me […]

“silence isn’t golden when you’re holding it inside” I have too much to say. I struggle each day to contain it, and I fear it is eating my sanity. Problem is…I don’t even think the time or my words are deserving. Such a delicate precipice upon which I’m teetering. My eyes grow darker each day […]

And for my convictions, I was convicted. A liar, a cheater, and a fraud, I was called. None of the convictions were true, except my conviction to maintain love and friendship. There was no right or wrong in the folly that followed, but merely falsehoods flung attacking my freedoms. The damages caused were true emotions, […]

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Into madness I’d follow you.

And on those first days, 5am would be the time I’d say goodbye. And now, time merely taunts me.

This is not what I’ve expected. All of these things are masked. Most days I don’t feel any different. I should be numb by now, and I should be disconnected. Why am I not? Why is everything still fresh and raw? The wound has been made, and perhaps it’s my own fault for picking at […]