The end and i saw the skies burning, the horrible red flash in the sky…the rumbling of the ground as the devastation hurled closer. i sat with you, in my car, holding you in my arms, and me in yours, as we cried…and in mournful pain said “i love you…”, and you hurtfully replied “i […]

Who knows what I want to say right now…probably not going to be much flow to anything I type right now because I’m just a mess. The thing sticking in the back of my mind is how FUCKED up people can really be…and just how many bad decisions they can continue to make. I mean […]

i can’t do this…not again, i don’t know what to do to make her stay…i don’t know that i have the power to keep it from happening. i can’t lose the one good thing i have in my life right now…but i fear it’s inevitable. sometimes the truest love is meant to stay out of […]

all i see is her. every night, every dream, for nearly 2 months now. jezus. this has happened before. if only you could see what i see. isn’t it lovely when someone says EXACTLY what you need to hear? i guess it goes both ways…for good and bad. maybe i’ve been lucky enough to have […]

September 3, 2006 – Sunday nothing left.. there’s really nothing left for me. i do this every fucking time and i still haven’t decided who i hate more…myself for doing it consistently, or the people who cause me to do it. these things never end, evidently it’s my pattern. borrowing from Reznor…i DO see the […]

one of the first direct blogs mentioning my feelings for someone…the one holding my heart above all others. August 10, 2006 – Thursday ..> ..> you’re never the only one. its not what you think. there was a person from my past that meant a lot to me, which is hard for me to say […]

hah…yeah…feel THIS one. how…ironic. August 13, 2006 – Sunday ..> ..> the world is beautiful when i close my eyes i dreamt of a girl…we were lying in a bed just…moving, turning, looking for that perfect spot to fit comfortably in each others arms. to steal from Brody and Mallrats, it was like living out […]

just reposting…in a vain attempt to find understanding. of course…my words ALWAYS come full circle and ring true. dec 9th 2005 finite perpetuality….. Current mood: discontent it’s…seemingly true. things generally ARE what they seem, and some things can’t be hidden by flowery fragrance and pretty paper… i’m still complicated…i’m still difficult…and i still chase the […]

you wear your mask to pretend that you’re happy…to pretend that you’re changed…to pretend that things are so much better… i’m the only one that knows it isn’t true. ——— The Dalai Mama What’s wrong with my mask? It was Mardi Gras, and EVERYONE was wearing them. 🙁 Reply4 years ago

…she placed a hot sauce packet on my leg after shuffling through a couple of them…and it said “the feeling is mutual.” how FUCKING cute is that… and followed it by saying “well there wasn’t one that said ‘will you marry me!’” “i don’t just love your face…i LOVE you!” ——— Mel D W. mmmm. […]