I’m forgetting her more, and remembering less. Sometimes its better to stop believing in fantasies…because I’m sure as fuck sick of only being one.  I’d rather be a reality.

Ugh. This pain is annoying.  May be a couple months still before surgery, which hopefully will fix this. I’m falling apart.

First you wanted to come, and now you only want to be gone.

So, coming up on the one year anniversary of potentially being fucking killed in a car wreck. I’m the 20% that lived. Value your moments.

Nothing to really say.  I feel everything finally closing off again.  So many failed experiments of trying to behave humanly and be emotionally connected to people who make me feel alive, and it always leads to disappointment. It could be my blame, as my choices are the most complicated, but nothing easy seems worth having.  […]

An anniversary of destruction. So much hatred from lips, and so much that could never be fixed. A fitting end, perhaps?  Such destruction created the monster that I now am, so perhaps it was for the best,  this monster is much more self-aware than it’s predecessor. Red fire burns, it always has.  I’m the only […]