will you remember the times i looked at you, will you remember how i touched your skin? will you ignore the way i treated you, will you ignore how things could’ve been? will you forget so easily the things i did for you, will you forget how broken your soul was? will you cast aside […]

so the year ended. and what is there to say about it? amidst the multiple positive things…and the negative things…i don’t even know how i feel about it now. where to begin. though it wasn’t part of 2010, my 2009 ended beautifully with an amazing xmas eve…leading into the new year. day 1 of january […]

“You know, it didn’t matter how many times I heard, I can’t see you two together. This shouldn’t be a statement to make either couple feel like the better one, obviously if you’re too different for her friends it’s prolly true that she didn’t match up wiht yours either. It always made me mad- that […]

I asked for the opposite of you, I got what I asked for..another me. … I’ve decided this must be how it is for me. If there is a soulmate out there for me, someone must have stolen him, as I am engaged to someone elses. Isn’t that a scary thought? Just as I am […]

i’ll never fully organize the thoughts in my head…. how much should it hurt to leave words unsaid? how much should we regret those last actions that we never took? how much does it even matter? i feel alive through the pain and worry, sometimes even thinking that if i’m consoled that i may simply […]

a beautiful disaster. how much you exclaimed you wanted this, and then when presented, how quickly you turned away. what should i believe anymore about all those words? all those emails? where is the truth? was this ever really what you wanted? oh how i loved you, my dear sweet Kellie….

i’ve neglected writing for a while, so now it’s time to return. probably not a lot here, but click over on the right for “iniquity” or “here” for my newer tumblr blog to see my latest thoughts.

If only I had one last night with you, dear sweet kellie, one last night to prove how much I love you.

I’m not good with words. I say things that I don’t mean when I get angry. I don’t know how to stop. I’m sorry for last night. I’m sorry for getting upset with you. I know that it was wrong of me and I should have been more understanding. Unfortunately I can’t take back everything […]

“i hate you, you’re an asshole.” the words ring over and over, loudly in my mind. you mean it. it always seemed like a joke, but it’s the one phrase that has been muttered more than others. and maybe i am. and as always…i’m the one that’s wrong, i’m the one that’s damaging, i’m the […]