reformirt

And the wet washed clean.
I am not the wife, forgotten, seconded to technology.
I am not the one night.
I am not the woman impressed with gifts, wealth, bought for breeding, and punished to change.
I am not the emotional attaché to cure.
I am not the audience for admiration, or a physician.
I am not a believer in the broken.
I am not the weekender.
Thirteen days.

I am reformed.
*a poem by my friend R, it was beautiful and i wanted to repost it for my friends to enjoy!

i hate to hurt you.

the saline reflections of my regret drip down my face,
mirroring the pain i’ve caused you.
the shades of red and shades of grey,
were not colors i intended to do.
often my words seem to fail me,
they don’t paint the pictures i want.
tonight my words wanted visions of smiles and giggles,
but it seems that’s not what i got.
even the smallest times you give, you tell me,
you think, it’s not enough, and never is.
but with my watered face and knotted stomach,
i tell you, the five minutes tonight was pure bliss.

the reptoids.

had an interesting dream last night, a partial at least.  i haven’t been remembering much of my dreams (or they’re too lurid to post without getting certain people in trouble) but i happened to remember a bit from this morning.  i tend to wake up every few hours, so, i just know that it was past 6am when i started seeing this one.

anyway, without going into detail, there’s a theory that there are many alien races visiting us, one of them being the Reptoids.  as you can surely gather from the name, they’re reptilian…and humanoid.  also, not only are we visited by them, but part of the theory also suggests that they live subterraneously in the earth, and they’ve been here for millenia.  or at least centuries.  and yes, “google that shit” (thanks dane) and you can find plenty about them if you want more info.  there are plenty of sightings, experiences, blah blah etc.

so…back to the dream.

i dreamt of…something way similar to them.

most of it is vague, but i know somehow i was taken to another planet or another dimension (or possibly underground), i don’t remember exactly how i ended up there.  well, these weren’t quite reptoid, but more like, dragon-oid.  they were humanoid dragons, and all of voluptious varieties of vivacious vibrance. i love alliteration.  anyway.  they were all different colors, shapes, sizes…had different plumage, horns, and other scaly decorations.  and…they spoke.  now here’s the funny part…i don’t think they spoke english.  i think they UNDERSTOOD english, but didn’t speak it.  someone was with me, possibly J, but i can’t see the face clear enough, and there was only brief interaction with her if it WAS indeed her.  so, back to the dragons.  so, interesting part…one of them was my “son.”  call it a rare coincidence that i watched some Clerks 2 yesterday as well (not before i fell asleep) but his name was Elias (something).  the last name started with an “E” and obviously didn’t match my last name. 

there was a hallway/entryway before a large meeting circle that we entered, and a few “scholar” types were there, and a couple of guards.  apparently they didn’t see humans often, and they weren’t quite glaring…but were very…pensive.  especially since i was so brazen and unaffected by the whole situation of being surrounded by 8 foot tall-ish humanoid dragons, and i was the only human there, along with my companion.  i remember speaking to one of them, in very basic english, explaining i was looking for my son and just being generally courteous and respectful to them.  one of them gave me a look of understanding and motioned into the next room.

so…in the next room was the load of them…it was a large two platform circular room, and there were all kinds of them standing in their “seats” around this room.  not actually seats…but they were all positioned with a relative space between them, as if they were assigned to be in those certain spots.  i think the room went a little crazy when i walked in, most of them just acted totaly startled and quite nervous, but i remember talking very loudly and very politely to the room, announcing my presence and that i was looking for my son.  there was a bit of fluttering about, a lot of shuffling of them, but i never sensed any aggression or malignant demeanor.  i wouldn’t quite say they acted scared, but if there was a line between neutral and fearful, i’d tip them on the fearful side but just barely. 

things are hazy after this, but i remember that the structure was very large, much too large for a human, and i’d somehow slipped down into the circle on the ground level.  if i remember, it was dirt covered, the floor inside the building i mean.  i was walking across the circle and i do remember one of the dragons being very blue and seemingly female that was near where i was going that acted quite nervous as i approached, but sortof hesitantly approached and made friendly gestures, just body posturing and such, and i could see it in the eyes.  she sortof motioned me toward the one i was looking for, who was back behind another one, and as i met the one that was my “son” i soon woke up.  i can’t quite picture the colors now, but i remember something very yellow on him.  like, a patch of yellow scales across his chest, not the whole “underbelly” but just a patch that was brighter than the rest, and being very blue and green.  other than that i think he had some large frills on each side behind his head.

so…weird.

and to make sure this point was noted, i WAS NOT a dragon in the dream, i was very human and very much myself.  freakin strange.

the reptoids

had an interesting dream last night, a partial at least. i haven’t been remembering much of my dreams (or they’re too lurid to post without getting certain people in trouble) but i happened to remember a bit from this morning. i tend to wake up every few hours, so, i just know that it was past 6am when i started seeing this one.
anyway, without going into detail, there’s a theory that there are many alien races visiting us, one of them being the Reptoids. as you can surely gather from the name, they’re reptilian…and humanoid. also, not only are we visited by them, but part of the theory also suggests that they live subterraneously in the earth, and they’ve been here for millenia. or at least centuries. and yes, “google that shit” (thanks dane) and you can find plenty about them if you want more info. there are plenty of sightings, experiences, blah blah etc.
so…back to the dream.
i dreamt of…something way similar to them.
most of it is vague, but i know somehow i was taken to another planet or another dimension (or possibly underground), i don’t remember exactly how i ended up there. well, these weren’t quite reptoid, but more like, dragon-oid. they were humanoid dragons, and all of voluptious varieties of vivacious vibrance. i love alliteration. anyway. they were all different colors, shapes, sizes…had different plumage, horns, and other scaly decorations. and…they spoke. now here’s the funny part…i don’t think they spoke english. i think they UNDERSTOOD english, but didn’t speak it. someone was with me, possibly J, but i can’t see the face clear enough, and there was only brief interaction with her if it WAS indeed her. so, back to the dragons. so, interesting part…one of them was my “son.” call it a rare coincidence that i watched some Clerks 2 yesterday as well (not before i fell asleep) but his name was Elias (something). the last name started with an “E” and obviously didn’t match my last name.
there was a hallway/entryway before a large meeting circle that we entered, and a few “scholar” types were there, and a couple of guards. apparently they didn’t see humans often, and they weren’t quite glaring…but were very…pensive. especially since i was so brazen and unaffected by the whole situation of being surrounded by 8 foot tall-ish humanoid dragons, and i was the only human there, along with my companion. i remember speaking to one of them, in very basic english, explaining i was looking for my son and just being generally courteous and respectful to them. one of them gave me a look of understanding and motioned into the next room.
so…in the next room was the load of them…it was a large two platform circular room, and there were all kinds of them standing in their “seats” around this room. not actually seats…but they were all positioned with a relative space between them, as if they were assigned to be in those certain spots. i think the room went a little crazy when i walked in, most of them just acted totaly startled and quite nervous, but i remember talking very loudly and very politely to the room, announcing my presence and that i was looking for my son. there was a bit of fluttering about, a lot of shuffling of them, but i never sensed any aggression or malignant demeanor. i wouldn’t quite say they acted scared, but if there was a line between neutral and fearful, i’d tip them on the fearful side but just barely.
things are hazy after this, but i remember that the structure was very large, much too large for a human, and i’d somehow slipped down into the circle on the ground level. if i remember, it was dirt covered, the floor inside the building i mean. i was walking across the circle and i do remember one of the dragons being very blue and seemingly female that was near where i was going that acted quite nervous as i approached, but sortof hesitantly approached and made friendly gestures, just body posturing and such, and i could see it in the eyes. she sortof motioned me toward the one i was looking for, who was back behind another one, and as i met the one that was my “son” i soon woke up. i can’t quite picture the colors now, but i remember something very yellow on him. like, a patch of yellow scales across his chest, not the whole “underbelly” but just a patch that was brighter than the rest, and being very blue and green. other than that i think he had some large frills on each side behind his head.
so…weird.
and to make sure this point was noted, i WAS NOT a dragon in the dream, i was very human and very much myself. freakin strange.

———

Blue
Elias!

<3 That sounds like a really different dream, not standard by any means. Reply5 years ago Random Sounds visually stimulating, Reply5 years ago ~tonya~ hummm, and how is this a reflection or your waking life? Reply5 years ago Obi WINE Kenobi wow! I think that tops some of my weirdest dreams Reply5 years ago

gratification

sometimes the smallest of events can mean the world. i’m lucky to have had a wishful fantasy fulfilled. it was something that can never be repeated, and has never happened before. fate is smiling.

——-

thomas dunlap
pompous ass prick
Reply5 years ago

Random
Err… 3some? Lottery? GOD Please say lottery…
Reply(4)5 years ago

Daniel Self
i have cats! rough tongues…..
5 years ago

Daniel Self
hah, how can i safely respond to that without either showing interest in the 3some or the lottery and getting myself in trouble?
sadly no, neither of those things! 😉
5 years ago

The dog finally went for the peanut butter.
5 years ago

Duran Durangela
hahahaha
5 years ago

burn, my darling

why have i noticed you? why have you made such an impact?
you shine.
i wouldn’t notice you unless you did.
so many people are oblivious to the things you are, the things you do, the things you exhude. you’re magnificent. you’ll never know it, you’ll never realize it, you’ll never admit it.
you’re amazing.
the things i’ve seen in you, the things you don’t know, the things that make me blush…they’re all inside of you. never did i think i’d find a way to make it through, but you’ve shown me my path. some things i never believed i’d replace, you’ve done.
the majesty of your heart is unbelievable, i didn’t expect to find it, but i have. there is a light inside of your soul that makes me cringe, a light that devastates me, a light that shines in a way you’ll never understand.
so many things i’ve never admitted, so many things i never wanted to believe…but you’ve made me forget everything. my world stops spinning when i see you, my eyes lose focus, my heart simply flutters. all those things you say mean more than you’ll understand. i find peace when i’m under your spell, the fire you possess purifies me. i burn my hands trying to touch you, and the pain i suffer becomes bearable when i feel your lips. without words, without expression…your eyes tell me all i need to hear.
within an instant, all my pain goes away. inside a moment, you erase all the damage i’ve felt.
i know you’re the one.
i’ve felt no hesitation, i’ve felt no questioning…i’ve felt only love. you ARE the thing i long for. my devotion runs deeper than words can detail, my interest surpasses superficiality. i didn’t want to believe that i’d find another like you.
i’ll continue to burn my hands reaching for you, i’ll continue burning my heart to feel you near me.
you gave me a chance.
your lips are bliss, your embrace is my heaven. so often i lose myself in your eyes, i lose myself in the simple moments when you stare into my soul.
you’ve accepted chaos and disruption for me, and words can’t show my gratitude. you’ve taken a path of destruction…a path of discord…you’ve chosen me for ME. the only thing i have to offer is ME, and you’ve gladly accepted.
our souls have danced for ages, and now that i’ve found you again…i can’t let you slip away. i’d sacrifice everything just to dance again. you’ve made me feel complete.

——

Duran Durangela
god damnit why can’t you be 8 years younger?
and I agree that you do write beautifully
Reply5 years ago

shine

nbe what you are, reagardless of how you think you make others feel, be yourself, be yahappy, d o what mameks yourslef,, happy, that’s all you can do..
that’s all i do. if ima hpapy, ‘ll continue to do it. tha’ts all that can be expected.

so many others have done t he same, rgardless of the outcome…they did what mede themselves hapy, and thats all you can do, thats all you should do.
do whats vbest vor you. make yosurslf smile and make y oruself laugyh….its what i llvoe best.
*edit*
be what you are, regardless of how you think you make others feel, be yourself, be happy, do what makes yourself happy, that’s all you can do..
that’s all i do. if i’m happy, i’ll continue to do it. that’s all that can be expected.

so many others have done the same, regardless of the outcome…they did what made themselves happy, and thats all you can do, thats all you should do.
do whats best for you. make yourself smile and make yourself laugh….its what i love best.

——-

Random
LOL! You’re drunk!
Reply(1)5 years ago

Daniel Self
i was trashed! i need to make an edited version of this!
5 years ago

sanctitude

you know, i just hung out with chrtis and jamie, and, i m …. gald that tey are happy. i love both of them, and i know they ‘re happy togethaer, and regasrdless of what my interachation was, they’ve met, and they love aeach aohter. that’s all that matters in the end.
i rubbed her feet, ok, massaged her feet, and thats ok! its what i do. after working at the massage parl9r i learned a few thingsa so i know whats ok and what feels nice to people.. it was good to be able to hang out wth them wihtout veeling asnay weird pressure, because they’re both my friends. i’m happy thjey;’re together, and regardless of my feeelijngs in the begiining, i love both of them, and i’m hglad that they can love aeach other. if i love someone, then i shoudl be happy that they can find love, regardless of eif it is me, right? do t he same. if you love someone, give them the freedom to lovesomeone else if it makes them happy. tha’ts what life is all aboutk, making those connections to lovesomeone else, whether or not its YOU or another, lvoe them and let them find someone that truly cares about them.

———-

thomas dunlap
after working at the massage parlor you learned a few things? bitch you washed sheets and folded towels, I am the foot fucking master. i got my technique down and everything, i dont be tickling or nothing.hey daniel, have you ever given a guy a foot massage?
Reply5 years ago

Karissa Mitchell Mcmill…
Um, were you feeling the vodka when you wrote this? Interesting writing, just needs a bit of spell check love, that’s all. : )
Reply5 years ago

crush me.

DMB — Crush

 

Crazy how it feels tonight
Crazy how you make it all alright love
You crush me with the things you do
I do for you anything too
Sitting smoking feeling high
In this moment it feels so right
Lovely lady
I am at your feet
God I want you so badly
I wonder this
Could tomorrow be
So wondrous as you there sleeping
Let’s go drive ’till morning comes
Watch the sunrise to fill our souls up
Drink some wine ’till we get drunk
It’s crazy I’m thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
Here I’m dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
Is this real or am I dreaming
Lovely lady
Let me drink you please
I won’t spill a drop I promise you
Lying under this spell you cast on me
Each moment
The more I love you
Crush me
Come on
It’s crazy I’m thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
Here I’m dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
Is it real or am I dreaming
Lovely lady
I will treat you sweetly
Adore you I mean you crush me
It’s times like these
When my faith I feel
And I know how I love you
Come on
Lady
It’s crazy I’m thinking
Just as long as you’re around
And here I’ll be dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
To each other we’ll be facing
By love we’ll beat back the pain we’ve found
You know
I mean to tell you all the things I’ve been thinking deep inside
My friend
With each moment the more I love you
Crush me
Come on
So much you have given love
That I would give you back again and again
Meaning I’ll hold you
And please let me always

haha!

heh, an old horoscope froam ayhooo,

There’s usually at least a two second delay between thought and words — for
most signs, anyway. In your case, it’s about a second, on slow days. At the
moment, however, there will be no delay, which makes you pretty darned
dangerous. Basically, if you were regulated by the FCC, they’d have your license
by noon. Keep that in mind before you go off on anyone who’s not as well armed
in the verbal department as you happen to be.

how funhhy!!1