so…i’m not doing so well on writing daily. maybe i’m not ready yet, something hasn’t struck me i suppose. there are a few things to say, but i don’t have the means to explain them yet.
soon.
synchronicity is getting stronger again, there are things i’m seeing that have patterns and design…and there is something pushing me toward a symbol right now, and i need to explore why. i think it’s a good thing, a strong thing i should say, but i think it’s going to be cumbersome to face again. i want to see them, it’s been a while, and i’m ready to show them what i’ve learned. i want to resonate higher this time and see what else is out there.

today is the day…..

march 1 has always been a relevant day…i wonder what is in store for me this year…

scottie reed
damn…..ive fallen behind, sorry!!!! but im back now
Reply5 years ago

so i skipped a few days of writing…i was occupied in other ways.
…several people wanted my mardi gras mask this weekend…fuckers. boobs aren’t worth my mask! even though i could have bought another mask…but then again…the boob offers weren’t from the hottest of girls…

ugh i’ve felt sick lately…stomach pains…i wish i could say i was pregnant or like, had an alien monster living inside me….but we know that isn’t true. or do we?

my stitches itch…my prescriptions low…i wish you were queen…just for today…..

Rebecca Kerr
would you have given it to me if i had asked????
Reply(1)5 years ago

Daniel Self
hmm…baby, i think that’s a trick question…are you referring to the mask? or something else…
you can’t take my mask!
5 years ago

Will my apathy and lack of respect for others mold me into a monster? Would i become like “them?” If i retain my empathy and sympathy for others…does that make me something other than human…since by societal standards…no one gives a shit about other people anymore?
I watch people daily…not notice what they do to others by simply doing nothing. How often we let an elevator close..as a friend reiterated in his comment…what about a crying child? Would we stop and ask if they need help, or is that social taboo now, with all the danger children are in from strangers and malicious individuals?
i was at QT the other day…a teenage girl was alone, had the hood of her car opened, and was adding fluid of some sort, though i didn’t notice which. the roads were icy, it was freezing outside, no one seemed to even notice. as i walked by, i felt i should ask if she needed any help with anything, and yet, by some censored tongue, things were whispered in my brain that i’ll be seen as aggressive or dangerous for offering any type of polite gesture. i ignored it. i asked casually as i walked by, “do you need any help?” she turned and gave a less than honest smile, and simply said “no thanks.”
did she really think it courteous of me to ask? or did she simply, like the rest of the world, think that i was being manipulative and asking for my own self-gain and as a way to gain her trust to simply use it against her and endanger her?

had a weird dream…matt m was driving in red bud valley and i was following him, i lost him in the curves and came around and he’d wrecked his ‘stang into a police car!

Have we as a society become so apathetic that we are losing touch with our own responsibilities as a culture? How often do we see someone on the side of the road with car trouble…who would stop? Or a person trying to carry groceries or bags out a door…who would open it? Have we degenerated so quickly that our own self-absorption is all we strive to keep?

scottie reed
it has to start somewhere right, now matter how small the favor might be. one of my biggest pet peeves is when i ask a friend for a light…….and rather they light my cigarette for me, they just hand me their lighter. or when i ask them to grab me a beer, they dont even take half a second to open it for me……..quiktrip is a perfect example, i cant count how many times ive walked in, paused, just so that i can hold the door for the next person behind me. another example of how inconsiderate other people are……i was in branson last week, walking up to the elevator in the hotel, assuming the people already on would hold the elevator for me…..but they didnt, they made eye contact with me, smirked, and let the door close…..i just dont get some people sometimes 🙁
Reply5 years ago

Katy Cook
I have a new found outlook on this. Since I’ve been on crutches, and obviously injured, people have been VERY nice…opening doors, helping me get things, etc. It’s nice, but it has made me wonder kind of the same thing…why don’t people do that on a regular basis???
Now, I probably wouldn’t stop for a broken down car, but I have slowed down and asked if I could call someone. I open doors for people. I usually have a couple of bags of food in my car to hand to someone that is homeless (I refuse to give money though).
Unfortunately, a lot of people have been scared into not helping anyone anymore, that doesn’t justify not holding a door though.
Reply5 years ago

Obi WINE Kenobi
As a young woman, I’m scared to stop for a broken down motorist. I have heard too many horror stories about such things. I’m striving to keep my life in that situation, not my self-absorption. However, if I ever see someone carrying something, I ALWAYS open the door for them. I did that at the liquor store today. I was bringing Carter lunch, I had my hands full, but an old woman was coming out and she had her hands full, I juggled my stuff around and opened the door for her. Its such a small thing, but people really appreciate it. My biggest pet peeve about society right now is what I see at stores – a lady stopped in the middle of the aisle blocking traffic both ways because she’s got a cart and won’t move to one side; saying “excuse me” and being ignored. I’m not rude enough to push them out of my way, but most of the time I get pushed out of the way. Most people don’t have the courtesy to say “excuse me” or “pardon me.” People are just ridiculous these days.
Reply5 years ago

Kenneth
Well, I have a different opinion on this. I just celebrated the passing of a good friend today, 3yrs now. He was murdered while trying to help perfect strangers. A house was on fire, he stopped, called 911, and got a bullet in the head for his troubles.

It’s the fear that doing something like picking up a hitchhiker, or a broken down motorist, will get you killed. Does Kenneth’s death make me nervous about doing such things? Yes. Will I continue to do them? Definitely. I refuse to be held captive by the degredation of the rest of society.

Others are not so ambivilant.
Reply5 years ago

Overview: Immerse yourself in art, whatever your medium is. Pull out the needle and thread, the hammer and saw, or simply take a walk with a sketchbook in hand. It’s time to explore your own ability to create.

for some reason, i think it’s really starting to set in that i want to write, that i want to create…that i want to do something that i can share with others and perhaps make a difference. i don’t mean save the world, i mean make a difference in their opinions, their eyes, their outlook, whatever. anything to affect someone in any way possible…as is the nature of art…to evoke an emotion.
i think i need to set a goal for myself…i’m going to write something every day starting tomorrow. something decent and determined, not a random “omg i had the worst day” thing but something at least poignant and provocative. i want you all to think, i want you all to comment, and i want you all to not hate me for posting so many blogs….

scottie reed
your blogs are always the best, i look forward to them!!!
Reply5 years ago

Obi WINE Kenobi
I won’t hate you for posting so many blogs. It’ll be for completely different reasons. haha =P
Reply(1)5 years ago

i almost fuckin forgot, i had a dream of a gwar show last night, very small crowd and casual, and they weren’t in costume. just the dudes standing there singing in this small club! wtf….. i remember Brockie sitting in a chair singing while the other guys were up playing.

with your annoying fucking voice and your cunt-like attitude.