now again i have thoughts of you…the weather drops and icy chills hit my skin…all the times we spent when the weather was cold, locked up and locked away from the world…we had each other, we kept each other smiling…we’d snuggle on the couch and watch tv or play video games…and the time we spent so long driving around trying to find gloves for me…and how someone nabbed them that night in the grocery store…gawd that was forever ago. we had fun shopping…i remember one night we were in the store and some old man asked me to get something off a top shelf for him, i was like…”i don’t work here…” and he said “i know, i’m just not tall enough to reach it!” so i helped him and he smiled…and the times i was on the phone with you as i was trying to pick out spaghetti sauce and all those other little things you needed. oh…and that time you were so sick…and i ended up going to the store to get you medicine at like 2am…*sigh* those were good times…and how you recently noted that you really don’t remember anything bad that happened…and i think you’re starting to make me forget as well…i just seem to remember the bad ending, but hardly anything bad in between…other than me being distant, being cold, watching you cry at how shut-off i could be… yes…the cold…now i remember…as the air gets colder and the wind breathes icy chills…i remember my heart being the same way and making you scatter like a sad leaf in the sky…off to find somewhere else to land… i tried chasing the leaf, but i never knew how to catch it again…

i also realized that i’m super glad that i have friends that love halloween as much as i do, it’s great to celebrate with people that enjoy things. i think it would totally suck if none of my friends enjoyed it as much as me…and especially if i was dating someone that didn’t even like dressing up.

happy halloween you motherfuckers. oh, and RIP to Houdini and River Phoenix. and happy bday Lovegoth.

http://www.yoke.cc/dead.htm

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn8209

Wrap your skeleton around me Weld your bones to mine I need more than regular involvement I need you to perform a miracle on me Somehow still the horror inside Please help me I don’t want to die screaming I don’t know if you can do it Hold me in a violent grip Outsmart me I need something A vacancy is growing inside me that I can’t control Fuck it Don’t even try I’ll just abuse you It’s all I know I’m just afraid that I’ll hurt you More than I already have ——————————————————————————– I’ll get the wrong idea If you’re kind to me I’ll start to make things up in my head I’ll think you’ll want me I’ll hurt myself trying to please you It won’t be real It will all be in my head I won’t be able to stop lying to myself I will cut myself to pieces again and again I won’t feel it You can watch ——————————————————————————– You see I did it I made something out of myself I am a slave to my parents I am a slave to my horror I mutilate myself without their help You can see it in major cities everywhere I didn’t blow it I did good can’t you see I took the punishment out on the road I don’t need them to fuck me up I can do it to myself real well now I have it down to a science I don’t know how I’ll end up I don’t want to know anymore I’m afraid of the nightmare I’ve become I live it slickly and darkly My saliva is black ———– All writings © Henry Rollins/2.13.61 Publications. all rights reserved.

http://www.chn.ir/en/news/?id=5893&section=2

[Intro] You never listen to me! I can’t fucking take this shit anymore! You fucking asshole, I’m taking the baby and fucking leaving you Fucking hear me, motherfucker? [Madrox] Every time I leave, my heart is torn apart And every time I see these things, you know I wanna start to change You can feel it like rain, falling down from the sky And mixing with tears falling from out of my eye It’s no surprise that my life is similar to a roller coaster Filled with ups and downs, I won’t enjoy it till the ride is over Probably not, but it’s okay forget it, skip it anyway My feelings are irrelevant to anything we do or say Now, it’s not that I don’t trust you, and my love is infinite I tell you every chance I get so you will never forget So you can miss me with that shit That you be saying in them arguments Throwing around possessions and destroying our apartment There’s nothing that would happen that we couldn’t talk about But lately we’ve been riffing instead of trying to talk it out I said I would never leave you and I still feel the same But it’s killing me inside to fathom that your feelings have changed [Chorus] Now you can think me bad for the things I do But you don’t understand, it’s not all about you I sit and think through times of how we came to be And come to realize, you’re nothing like me, now I see [Monoxide] I know I told you when we met that I’m a weirdo I got a lot of problems trusting other people I’m filled with evil that leads me into darkness And when I start this, you’ll probably say that I’m heartless And your remark is “I hate you!”, hear her car skid She’s standing in the door, crying, bitch, that’s our kid! Your Daddy loves you, baby, your mom’s a crazy lady She’s saying all of these things in an attempt for you to hate me I never meant for her to leave us like she did But really, I can’t blame her, cause I know that I’m a dick I got some issues that I know I need to deal with But so do you, don’t act like that, at least just keep it real with me And we can make it feel so surreal Like I’m dreaming, but instead you pack your bags Give me the finger and tell me you’re leaving I know these demons are gonna come get me So forget we ever met I hope you don’t mind if blood dripping all over my neck [Chorus] Now you can think me bad for the things I do But you don’t understand, it’s not all about you I sit and think through times of how we came to be And come to realize, you’re nothing like me, now I see I never said that I would I never said that I would I never said that I would leave you I never said that I would I never said that I would I never said that I would leave you