Your mind is craving conversation — and not that ho-hum kind of stuff you get every day at work, either. You want a discussion, a debate or even an all-out argument about politics or religion or one of the other subjects one must never, ever mention at the dinner table. So go out and meet someone who’ll be able to give that to you. You know where to look. That cafe at the bookstore, maybe?

Bring the violence It’s significant To the life If you’ve ever known anyone Bring the violence It’s significant To the life Can you feel it? How do you sleep When you live with your lies Out of your mouth Up from your mind That kind of thinking Starts a chain reaction You are a timebomb ticking away You need to release What you’re feeling inside Let out the beast That you’re trying to hide Step right up and be a part of the action Get your game face on Because it’s time to play You’re pushing and fighting your way You’re ripping it up How do you live without playing the game Sit on the side and expect to keep sane Step right up and be a part of the action Come get a piece of it before it’s too late Take a look around You can’t deny what you see Were living in a violent society Well my brother let me show you a better way So get your game face on because it’s time to play You’re pushing and fighting your way you’re ripping it up So tell me what am I supposed to be Another goddamn drone Tell me what am I supposed to be Should I leave it on the inside Should I get ready to play

so everyone wants a happy post? ok sure. scott is a great friend, when my car broke down the other night he came and met me, tore apart the front and spent 2 hours working on it until we got it running. it’s good to have real friends.

my chest is surging right now, i can feel my heart being open, something is flowing around me…i don’t know where from or if i like it yet…it’s a feeling of loneliness right now. perhaps i need to lose myself in the emotion and figure out why i have it.

if only i could eloquently describe my personality in words that make sense in a nonsensical way…if only i had a “guide to daniel” book to give people when i become close to them for that person to truly see my intentions instead of making natural assumptions about my actions. therein lies the problem in my eyes, i become grouped into that stereotype of being “like everyone else” when that isn’t true, my belief structure is so radically different even i don’t understand myself sometimes. i feel lucky that some people may create a timeline in their life of “before i met daniel” and “after i met daniel” but at times i downright abhor the idea…i don’t want to be that important to someone, and i don’t want to be such a hearty comparison that others will seem so intensely different from me. ———- oh gawd how true this was and still is…i’m still a timeline and an indicator of all things different when i touch people…..i still haven’t found the understanding to know if it’s good or bad…

i lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

i sometimes dont know what to think anymore…my mind plays tricks on me and tries to tell me things that i shouldn’t believe…like that some girls will be different when i know better. i bring things up a lot and all my friends are sick of hearing about it, but its a situation that really bothers me. i’ve never had such a strike to my heart and esteem. i’ve never had such a blatant disregard for my feelings and respect. i never thought i would simply be a “between” guy…one to keep someone happy emotionally and sexually until they find something else. im worth more than that, and all these people know it. i am officially the lyric “i’m not in love but i’m gonna fuck you til somebody better comes along.” fine, whatever. i rang her bell. so be it. she was pissed because i busted her…the first lie she tries to perpetrate and she gets caught. maybe i’m too smart, maybe i’m too caring. had i never known what would have happened? probably the same thing i’m sure. and now i’m left thinking…i should have NEVER let her complete my birthday that night. as soon as i found out about the lies i should have told her to fuck off and not even bother showing up at my party that she planned, i would have had better memories about it and i’d have had the upper hand. but no…i’m gullible and was stupidly in love with this thing, and i let it control my night. you should have never been there Shallow. i should have pushed you away that night you called me back from someone else’s bed.

i think i figured out what my problem is lately. my problem is everyone else. if it weren’t for them, things would be great i’m sure. so many of you just simply suck and you’re taking up my fresh air by breathing and being alive. most of you don’t contribute anything beneficial to my life or my existence, so why do i keep you around? i think it’s time i start cleaning my “buddy list” of life. no more one sided friendships. no more quick forgiveness. no more excuses of naivety. if you fuck up, take responsibility. don’t say it wasn’t intentional because it was. don’t tell me it’s my fault that YOU’VE chosen to do something. don’t try to explain that i’m being unreasonable. don’t preach that i’m “just not the right one” when i am. keep your mouths shut and suck it up. be aware of your actions and especially be aware of their repercussions. we have free choice and we exercise it well. dont pretend that it wasn’t a conscious decision that you’ve made, you did it, deal with the consequences. victims are we all. quit being pussies about everything you fucks, stand up for your words and quit trying to pretend things aren’t what you wanted.