i hope you fucking feel it, i hope you fucking notice it, i hope you fucking hate it with all the lifeless passion in your fucking heart. my heart burns there too.

http://www.astrology.com/allaboutyou/sunsigns/aquarius.html http://karma.astrology.com/profiles/aquarius.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=2 http://chinese.astrology.com/dragon.html http://chinese.astrology.com/fire.html

you’re just a copy of an imitation….. today i’m dirty…want to be pretty…tomorrow i know i’m just dirt….

this is not me, i’m not mechanical…as hollow as the O in god…

how the FUCK does it feel to be one of the beautiful people you superficial mother fuckers?

so what to say…my mind hasn’t been very forthcoming lately so i haven’t had much to say. well, i should say there are things i SHOULDN’T say…things i don’t need to make note of i suppose. this would have been so much easier under different circumstances. i want it to erase and disappear. the things i’ve felt lately are inhuman and entirely unfair for someone to deal with on such a fresh daily basis. my spirit was broken, my esteem was shattered…all because i let some fucking woman crawl in my heart. i give people too much faith and grace. oh well. i’m never going to change my ways so i don’t know why it really matters to mention it. i make the same mistake every time, i dive in and give no regard to how they will break my heart, which it seems to happen time and again. i’m a glutton for punishment and a sucker for a sad face. i’ll play your therapist and your best friend, and then when you’ve taken all you need from me, you’ll move on to simply continue your pattern of mistakes that you are so comfortable with doing. i’ve watched every one of you do it, i’ve continued to watch you do it…those notions never seem to change. am i the only one that is going to recognize at least PART of it? i know i can’t be the only one that sees how poorly women let themselves be treated…and even guys…i’ve seen so many women that are simply controlling their relationships because their boyfriends are so naive and innocent about everything…they’ll jump at every word. won’t anyone settle for the medium? i’ve always given so much, and people so often take advantage of me. you know, the kindest words, the sweetest sentinements, the loving utterings from my mouth that i’ve uttered to all these people…i just hope you realize that there’s always an antithesis…if i can speak loving things from my heart, i can also speak the most foul hateful things as well. i’ve given fair warning, and if you put me in a corner, you won’t leave until you’re crying and self-doubting. if you try to shred my dignity i’ll demolish all of yours. make sure you’re ready before you try to match emotion and wit with me. the dragon is a fiery beast…loyal and proud, and eventually dangerous if provoked.

classic….Cinderella song…long hair rulz. I can’t tell ya baby what went wrong
I can’t make you feel what you felt so long ago
I’ll let it show
I can’t give you back what’s been hurt
Heartaches come and go and all that’s left are the words
I can’t let go
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time, let me know
If you really want to go

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

I can’t feel the things that cause you pain
I can’t clear my heart of your love it falls like rain
Ain’t the same
I hear you calling far away
Tearing through my soul I just can’t take another day
Who’s to blame
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time let me know
If you really wanna go

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

Do you wanna see me beggin’ baby
Can’t you give me just one more day
Can’t you see my heart’s been draggin’ lately
I’ve been lookin’ for the words to say

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone no
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

do research on Greek Orthodox faith.

wow ok, i just remembered parts of my dream. i was at a concert, it was a gwar show, but it was just the lead singer. he wasn’t in costume either, it was all recorded music and him singing over it. he came out in the crowd and talked and stuff, it was really weird, but cool. then i remember flying around the room or something, i think one of THEM was trying to grab me or something, i kept floating way too high and too far away, but i was inside a building so they couldn’t pull me out, i dunno. i also remember talking to animals, like a cat and a dog, i was focusing on them and said hello or something and i heard a voice in my head from them, like a telepathic voice…they responded to what i was saying. odd…fuckin dr doolittle and shit.

forgot a synchro the other day, i called danya and she said ‘i was JUST thinking about you’