wtf…i went to sleep at like, 530am at least…and woke up at 830am….this literally sucks.  of course i had the taste of alcohol wanting to leave my throat…so maybe i woke up before i decided to get sick…so i fixed that problem.  gah, that’s not how i’d want to start today…staring into the god of flushing water as i spray easter colored body fluids from my mouth.

so i’ve realized over the past week since i’ve had time to myself to do absolutely nothing…that the whole world is screwed.  i think most people are so far lost into their own self-created beliefs of happiness that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to truly be happy.  i don’t mean…”omg i just got a million dollars” happy, but true, deep, intense happiness of just fucking being alive….

and a quote from KMFDM…  “…you’re only alive right now because someone has decided to let you live…”  just stop and think about that, and realize that there are millions of multitudes of opportunities that ANYONE in this world could have gotten rid of you at any moment…and also realize that you’ve had all the same opportunities to get rid of them…maybe you should start respecting the other people around you and start giving a shit about strangers instead of thinking that they have NO relation to you or any impact on your precious little world because they DO.

sure, it makes me hypocritical because i’ve resigned myself so deep in my own apathy that i don’t want to care about anyone but myself…but the ones that pay attention know that isn’t true.  you’ll say i hurt you because i’m an asshole and i toy with your emotions…but i’ll hurt you once instead of hurting you a million times over…and you’ll see that if you give it time.  i know myself better than that, and i refuse to put someone else through any perpetual bullshit that i might create.

and…

good morning and happy easter.